How many of us have made decisions we later regretted? Experiences are supposed to teach us what to do and not to do, but many find themselves making the same mistakes over and over again simply because they failed to think of the consequences associated with the decision in the first place. Every day we make countless decisions about things that go on in our life. From what to wear, what to eat, where to live, what school our children should attend, to what time to leave the house before heavy traffic meets us, what errands to run when we leave work, and so on and so forth. We feel we “we are grown” and can make our own decisions. And while that may be true, have you ever stopped to think, whose decision really is it anyway?
Often times many couples in long-term marriages become complacent and stop doing the things that they used to do. I want to emphasize the importance of “quality” vs “quantity” of time spent together. Couples often spend almost every day together but lack when it comes to quality time spent. I’ve had couples in therapy tell me that they would actually speak to each other on average about 5 minutes per day and did not spend any time together. They would often say how they did not know each other the way they used to because of the lack of time spent. Below are some suggestions on how to continue to date your spouse and set quality time aside.
Many of us during the holiday season get caught up every year with the hustle and bustle of putting up a Christmas tree, decorating the house, Black Friday shopping, and making dinner for family and friends. However, during times like these, all of us should desire to do things differently as it relates to giving and receiving. Doing things we’ve always done knowing that there are opportunities to share in the love of God would really mean nothing if our true intentions are not pure. So this holiday season, pledge to do things differently so you can make the most out of what you’re doing to make your home, community, and the world a better place to live in.
Many of us have been in the grind so long that when afforded the time to relax and unwind, we refuse to think that we’ll miss something, or we will lose out on making more money if we take a vacation, even if only for a few days. Time as you know waits for no one. Time slips away from us moment by moment. Precious loved ones near and dear to us have gone before us and we often wish we had just another moment to hug them, say we love them, or allow them to see relatives that have been born since their passing. I can certainly attest to missing my grandmother, even great-grandmother. They didn’t get the chance to see the new millennium and the many grand and great-grandchildren they left behind. So with only one life to live, it is entirely too important that we take the time to just stop and smell the roses in our life.
Wasn’t it a joy just to have your newborn babies in your arms? Yes, it may have been hours and a lot of pain, but just knowing that you conceptualized and brought children so precious, with all ten fingers and toes, into this world is nothing short of a miracle. As they grow we strive to teach them to walk, to talk, to feed themselves, and to learn their ABC’s. But somewhere along the way of us getting them to a place of independence, we lost sight of the time that went by. Now they are close to teenage years, or even better, about to graduate from high school or college. Some of your children may have anxiety about certain things: friends, school work, their first big crush, and so much more. They will tell you, “I’m dealing with so much mom!” And for us, it may not seem like much because of all of the ‘hats’ we wear, but believe it or not, they do have a lot. The pressure to succeed, peer pressure from friends, and what to wear to “fit in” can linger in a child’s mind like unreal. So it’s paramount that we pay attention to the things that our children get into and feel are important.
Women, we’ve got it going on! We are wives, mothers, sisters, friends, confidants, keepers of the home, business owners, and so much more! We have resources that people need and draw from us each and everyday. But in order to be effective for others, we have to get our own selves together. You know what I mean? I’m sure many of us are either single or married. And whether you know it or not, much of what we’ve learned over the years stems from what we’ve learned during our childhood. How to cook, clean, wash, nurture, take care of our brothers and sisters, and the list goes on and on. Some of us have it down pat, while others still need a little help. The five things I’m going to share with you are a must, whether you have a family or not, in bringing a warm ambiance into your home and creating an intimacy that is inviting and full of love.